Feel the fear - and do it anyway

As far as I could remember I had a fear of public speaking. Speaking to people one-on-one, or in small groups was no problem. However, every time I stood up in front of large groups of people my mind would go fuzzy, my palms start to sweat and a panic rise in my chest. People who knew me as being a confident person were always surprised to learn of my fear.

One of my goals in life is to become a motivational speaker. Obviously this does not match very well with a fear of public speaking! I remember a few years ago during a coaching session (where I was being coached), I realised that this fear was stemming from an incident that happened to me in my childhood when I had to go up onto a stage and ended up running off in tears. And I also realised that now I had a choice as to how I dealt with it in the future.

I knew that this fear was never going to go away on its own. The only way to conquer a fear is to face it, move through it and change your belief about it for the future. And so I thought about what I could do. A few years ago I attended a Presentation Skills workshop, which ended in me giving a 4- minute speech to an audience of around 12 people. I was absolutely terrified just beforehand and really nervous most of the way through. The feedback I got was fantastic. The lady who was running the workshop even asked me to come and join her organisation delivering Presentation Skills workshops into schools!

This lady had started her speaking career by going to Toastmasters – a worldwide organisation that helps people improve their communication and leadership skills. It is a really safe, supportive space in which to gain confidence about speaking in public as you regularly deliver speeches to your local group who give you constructive feedback and recommendations where you could improve for your next speech.

And so I decided that I would join Toastmasters so that I could learn the necessary skills to speak confidently. Shortly after I joined I was asked to deliver a speech in front of 50 people in my local community (including the Mayor). Even though the thought of it made me feel physically sick, I readily agreed to deliver the speech. On the day I was wondering what on earth had possessed me to say yes! I had got back from holiday the day before and was feeling severely jet-lagged. Nonetheless, I arrived smiling broadly and delivered my speech. Afterwards, again I was given some tremendous feedback and am now even featured on a business website for having delivered an excellent speech.

OK…. So you get the picture. Because I have a clear vision of where I want to be (motivational speaking) I worked out what I need to do NOW that will help me to take another step towards that. Even though this would mean me facing one of my biggest fears. I was able to do it because I KNEW that it is a part of what I really want to do in my life. Having the knowledge that this fear was not just going to go away by itself, I knew I had to just take action and get on and do it. By doing it repeatedly I would then change the belief that I couldn’t do it and every time get better and better.

I had a choice. And I chose to take action and to face my fear. If I hadn’t, then I could still be telling myself that I was too scared and that when I was feeling braver then one day I might do it. All the time wishing that I could just get on with it, and becoming more and more frustrated. Does this sound familiar to you? Is there something that you really want to do and are waiting for the right time/to feel braver/have more confidence and so on?

That fear is not going to go away on its own. To some degree, veryone feels fear as he or she moves forward in life and has to overcome things outside of their comfort zone. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out… and do it. Pushing through fear is actually less frightening than living with the fear itself.

Whatever it is that you really want to do and have been holding back through fear – go ahead. It may not be as bad as you imagine. Face the fear – and do it anyway!